Egyptian Lesson 101

Before we start on this week's intial Egyptian lesson, I'll just mention that I read the essay prompt incorrectly for my soc essay and I was in this delusional state where I thought that I might be able to finish the essay within a reasonable amount of time. So, if anyone could "Critically discuss Smith’s arguments on the consequences of capitalism for the human beings and the society," then please, give me ONE idea.

Anyway, this week's lesson will be dealing with bilaterals and trilaterals. Except I only scanned in a couple bilaterals.

What are bilaterals and trilaterals, you ask.

Well, per each picture, there are 2-3 consonants. Bilaterals, 2. Trilaterals, 3. For example, there is a picture of a shark, and it is prounounced jly, or there is a picture of a very small shoe and it is prounced mk.

In order to better memorize each of these bilaterals, I suggesting placing a sexual connotation on each one, or something dirty attached to each. In addition to blushing throughout the entire quiz, you'll also have a good reason to go to confession that weekend.

1.








This one is pronounced "wa." The ONLY logical reason I came up with it being "wa" is because it kind of looks like a sperm, and I'm assuming sperms go "wa" when they are going up to wherever it is that they are headed. By the way, I guess I forgot to mention that a lot of these associations are pretty convoluted and stupid.

2.









This here is pronounced "pa." It is pronounced "pa" because there is a piece of poop coming out from it's bum, and "pa" starts with "p," just like "poo" does. (That isn't actually a piece of poop, but we have to use our imagination. Just like I'm going to have to to figure out WHAT is capitalism)

3.







This is "ma." Doesn't it look exactly like something your ma would heartily beat you with?

4.









This one is "mn." I forgot to mention that Egyptians didn't show any vowels in their writings, so Egyptologists kind of have to imagine what it sounded like. The standard vowel filler, however, seems to be "e." So this picture I made into "men," and, well, it's got little lines sticking up. I placed a phallic connotation on those little lines. After all, the ARE sticking straight up.

5.









This is "mr." So, "mer." If you're looking at this pretty late at night after many, many hours of painting, you can kind of see a MERman's tail.

6.










This is "ms" which equals "mes." This looks up a broom, which would clean up a mess.

7.









This one is "shw" (roughly), which sounds like shoe. Which is what this looks like.

8.









This is "sn," which can be pronounced "sin," and it's pointing down to Hell, which is straight where I'm going because of all the other ideas I had for the rest of the pictures.

These were only 8 out of the 90 some I learned. There was plenty of room for creativity in the rest. Stay tuned for another Egyptian Lesson that will come one day.

Let's see about that essay now.