The first all nighter of this school year

And it wasn’t happening because I was up getting drunk or smoking up, but because I was doing some honest-to-goodness Egyptian hieroglyphics translations.  There was a PARTY going on in room 612, and I’m going to tell you all about it.

Somehow all nighters have lost their charm.  I sat down at the kitchen at about 8 PM, and I knew before that that I was in a veritable pile o’ shit.  In high school all-nighters were filled with long IM conversations about how we really should sign off and do some work, but ISN’T IT GRAND THAT WE’RE ONLINE TOGETHER?  And you knew you’d finish all the work by the end of the night.

I sat at that table at 8 worried that I wouldn’t finish about 24 lines of Egyptian translation in 9 hours.  And guess what.  I didn’t.  

Some of Kat’s amazing coffee got me started.  That coffee…if it were in space I’d mistake it for a black hole.  It had the consistency and taste of tar, since it was brewed for 18 hours.  Now, the blackness absorbed all color, but it also actually emitted a black aura and the voltage usage of the entire dorm had to increase two-fold because the building turned so black when the coffee pot was out of the refrigerator.  I think it had the power to fuel a small factory or a nuclear bomb.

Despite the coffee, during the night my most coherent thoughts were:
“GOOOOOOODDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!”
“QUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAILS!”
“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!”
“POOOOOOOOT WITH LEEEEEEEEEEEGS!”
“VULTURES!  SHIT!  HELL!”

After a while the cursing just turned into one long, silent, sustained scream in my brain.

(I’ve since recovered.  You can talk to me.  I will not start growling.)

Anyway, by 5:30 AM I literally could not see straight, my eyes were jiggling back and forth in my head, and I couldn’t focus on any more words.  I felt like if I looked at a single more Egyptian hieroglyph I’d end up barfing all over the kitchen table.  Much frustrated weeping and hysteria ensued.  It was not a pretty sight.

So at 6:30 I started listening to some way awesome music on my computer, and I calmed down.  

And then my Egyptian teacher said he wouldn’t most likely not be counting the homework as a quiz.

And that is the story of my first all nighter of my second year of college.