I should have my own cooking show. Like Emeril.

Today, as I was eating my avocado for lunch, I had an epiphany. I have this theory where if something tastes good with salsa, it tastes 80 times better with guacamole. So, all excited, after eating one half of the avocado with salsa, I grabbed the guacamole and started slathering the other half of the avocado with it.

Then I realized the following:

I was putting an avocado spread onto...an avocado.

I've had other shining moments of unparalleled intelligence like this since coming home. For instance: I have watched so many musicals this past week that I am laboring under the illusion that I can sing AND dance, and that the Brand New Oreck Vacuum Cleaner comes with a built-in soundtrack to Silk Stockings or Les Girls. While shopping for baby clothes for my mom's friends' babies, I got so excited that I found a (relatively not hideous) matching shirt AND pants for under $25 that I started doing a "I found a (relatively not hideous) matching shirt AND pants" song and dance IN THE STORE. Which went something like:

I've got a shirt (ba-doom)
I've got some pants (za-zoom)
This baby'll be a big flirt (broo-broom)
Because all he'll do is dance! (fa-foom)

Broadway is OBVIOUSLY not big enough for me.