Ideally, I would be doing laundry right now

Tonight, as always, I had very little to write about, since my day consisted of:

1. Waking up
2. Napping
3. Going to the library
4. Napping
5. Feigning studying
6. Eating dinner
7. Coming home

So I had several suggestions for topics from various people for blog, which included:

1. Batman. But I don't know much about Batman, aside from that he made out with Nicole Kidman at one point. I think.
2. A story with the following constraints: a jaguar in Japan, the ten commandments, and John Wayne would all have to appear
3. The age-old topic of Egyptian Hieroglyphs. Yes, everyone, I take hieroglyphs. I give you permission to not get over it, since I'm not over it yet, either, and I still don't know if I'm spelling hieroglyphs correctly
4. What would life be like bald?

Although all fine, creative subjects and questions worth writing 40 page dissertations about, the winning question of the evening was actually presented over our study break of some sort of cheese with some sort of chips. I am not a huge fan of chips with cheese, but I am a huge fan of study breaks, since I can usually wrangle something like this question from someone:

What would you do if you were one foot taller?

This was coming from Jimmy Salvatore. Aside from the initial reactions I always have when I see Jimmy, which include:

1. This guy is from New Jersey
2. Garden State took place in New Jersey
and
3. Why on earth did I used to like Garden State?

I also think:

4. This is a very short person.

Then a couple of weeks ago, it turned out I am SHORTER than Jimmy. This means I am nearly invisible to the human eye, which actually is quite convenient, since it means I can probably pick my nose and wedgies openly in public without being noticed. I could also probably get away with daring heists and big-time burglaries since no one would see me on surveillance cameras.

Is that a flea or Adrianne? I can't tell!

But anyhow, as we all know, there are a few drawbacks to being short, including being stuffed into dirty chimneys to clean them, and being trampled upon in large crowds. Also getting the short end of the stick (HA! PUN!) if you'd have to deal with Jack's giant at the top of the beanstalk.

So, if I were one foot taller, I would do the following:

I would not climb onto countertops to get to the top shelf in kitchens anymore.
I would paint ceilings with ease and finesse.
I would bend down to pick things up off the ground.
I would not ask strangers to get things for me off the high shelves at the grocery store.
I would change chandelier lights for everyone and charge $3.00 per bulb.
I would wash the tops of cars very well.
My Christmas trees would be the most symmetrically and beautifully decorated trees every seen.
I would not get every last pair of my pants hemmed.
I would help the elderly and blind across roads.
I would scratch behind giraffe's ears.
I would single-handedly assemble dinosaur skeletons.
I would walk across the Pacific Ocean.
I would save small children from the 9th floor of burning buildings by simply reaching in through the window.

Basically, if I were 1 foot taller, I would be a better person. I would MOVE MOUNTAINS.

In short (HA!), I think I would take over the world.