To a couple of good Christians out there

Remember all those times you've told me "We should go out to dinner sometime"? Or remember when you said "One of these days, I'll make you dinner"? Or "One of these days I'll fly you over to Paris on my private jet for the evening to have some real fondue"?

There is no better time than the present.




That is the current state of our fridge. There are two eggs in that carton. The blue tupperware contains a stick of butter. The bread tastes like Kleenex. The grated Parmesan cheese goes with nothing that we currently have in the fridge and the wine...well, the wine... OK, fine, maybe if we've got $3 wine we don't need any food, but I'm just thinking that I don't want to get scurvy within the next 2 weeks.

You might be asking why Mary Kate and I don't go and buy food. That's because I know your New Year's resolution was to spend more quality time with Adrianne and Mary Kate and/or feeding the poor, and I would just like to help you out with your goals.

Also, a little known fact is that if you hang out with Mary Kate and me, you're basically guaranteed a successful life.



Here we are with the cast of Blood Diamond.




With Oprah.



You don't need to point out the obvious. I know we clash with Abe's outfit.



We support the arts!



We also like to dance.

And if you don't think you'll be famous, we'll make sure other people think you are.



This is me on one of my good hair days.

We look forward to hearing from you!