Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Because we can't bear to be separated

Ah, spring. That season of flowers, surprise warm rain showers in which I feel perpetually damp and I can't tell if I'm sweating or actually just moist from the rain, and of course, the season of love. Of all sorts. In abundance. Sort of like bugs. Which we have. I decided to substitute love with bugs this year.

And this was a decision. Not a situation forced upon me.

Last year when we moved into this apartment, we had a minor bug problem. By minor, I mean that there were flying ants covering almost absolutely every part of the room, and for lunch I would simply reach out my hand, grab a handful of them, puree them in my hands, and swallow them. But then the pesticide man came, and this situation:


Became a thing of the past.

Bugs, I find, will come no matter what. Even if you do or don't clean the bejeezus out of a place. And while I'm currently using the toilet brush as a toothbrush and I just picked my dinner off the ground and rolled it around in a dust bunny for flavor, I wouldn't particularly say we're living in complete squalor. Nevertheless, the bugs have decided that they might be interested in taking up residence with us, and their giving our apartment a trial visit at the moment. They are still coming in small groups, but I'm guessing it's only a matter of time before word gets out on the street that we've got a pretty *sweet pad* and they'll be arriving with their extended family and lots of baggage.

Which led to the following last night:

No, not that Gwen Stefani is sleeping in our apartment. That we moved Mary Kate's mattress into Julie and my bedroom after Raid-ing her room to high heaven so that we could all huddle together in fear.

(Yes, no need to point out the obvious: I am STILL sleeping on a boat of an air mattress.)

My mattress was actually overlapping Mary Kate's after I reinflated it to its full glory, and that's how we spent the night. Can you feel the love?

And Rita, just say the word. I am ready to lead a revolution of the pants.

2 Comments:

At 1:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

One of the most effective methods of bug control is releasing Tokay Geckos into your apartment. They are extremely aggressive hunters and will get to places that cans of Raid can't reach (and eat things that Raid won't kill).

Their beautiful coloration and their status as the world's only species of barking lizard also add greatly to the ambiance.

-- Bruce

 
At 2:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha! I agree.

 

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