Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Anyone want some roommates?

This past weekend I went to New York. A few weeks before that, I went to Costco. The two experiences were remarkably similar. When I walked into Costco, my initial reaction was "WhoooaaaAAaa JESUS CHRIST." It was very big, I was very small, there were a million things demanding to be held, eaten, shaken, smelled, bounced, thrown. It was a sensory overload. And I walked through the aisles, wondering WHY I would want a lifetime supply of Caprisuns or eggs. Or egg beaters. Until, of course, I found the GIGANTIC boxes of Honey Bunches of Oats and Nature Valley cereal bars, and suddenly it all made sense. YES, I NEED these large boxes big enough to move into filled to the brim with delicious cereal! Life is good now that I have these big boxes of food!

Going to New York was kind like this. Upon getting on the bus I noticed fat on ladies jiggles in a different way than in Chicago: in Chicago, my experience has been that I nearly bite my tongue off my chest bounces so dangerously close to my chin, whereas in New York I felt like my love handles were really anxious to jiggle. ANYHOW, I get to the city and everything is big, there are a million people, and I am very, very, very small. Chicago is a big city as well, but I feel like it's divided up into neighborhoods designed to still make you feel like you're in just that: a neighborhood. New York didn't really seem to try to hide the fact that it's a big city with millions of people, and that there is always something going on and if you're not doing them all at once then you're not worthy of living there. Chicago's more accepting like that.

The first evening I got there I set out to meet my friend in Battery Park. I don't know who's been to Battery Park, but it was the most confusing place ever. The streets just seem to change names on a whim, West Ave. or whatever it was just feels like changing to Prince St. or something, so it does. And getting to a guide book wasn't as easy as just walking into a Barnes and Noble, since I couldn't find the entrance to the store after 10 minutes of dedicated scanning and wandering.

Armed with a guide book and a water bottle, I started walking around the park to the HUGE office building my friend works in, and noticed that well, fine, everything DID look nice with the sun going down and all the people walking home in the suits and the rest of them just hanging out in restaurants very conspicuously checking out the few ladies in skirts there and oh look, there are all those people walking around the park and jogging with their dogs, and then ah! there's the Statue of Liberty and FINE this is actually kind of nice, and maybe I like it.

So, well, maybe it was just because I had been walking around for such a long time that I was delirious, or something did genuinely click with me, even if it was for just a second, but I thought I could like a few things about New York. I had a feeling I could find my humongous logs of discounted mozzarella cheese and Honey Bunches of Oats cereal, if you will. And so, I am moving there. By September 2nd, which is in around 2 seconds, so even though I want to, I don't have much time to flip out.

I do not think New York is the be all, end all of all cities. I do think it will be an interesting experiment. I'll let you know how it goes.